Motivational Speaker

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10 Clever One-Liners that Put a Smile on Your Face

1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

2. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
 
3. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

4.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

5. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

6. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

7. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

8. Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

9. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

10. In democracy it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism it's your count that votes.

 

By the way, the list in ActiveRain listing the Top 100 Women in Real Estate Leadership is coming along nicely. See how many of the names you recognize and if you can provide someone should add to the list. The List is located at http://tinyurl.com/3w89hs

11 commentsStefan Swanepoel • September 14 2008 01:45PM

Comments

Hi Stefan,

I really enjoyed your light-hearted post! While I enjoy the serious posts on Active Rain as well, it was a joy to read some good humor.

Don't forget me if you learn of anyone moving to "The OC!"

 

Michael

(949) 753-7900

Posted by Michael Caruso Real Estate Group over 3 years ago

Thank you for a much needed laugh!

Filomena

Posted by Filomena over 3 years ago

Cute....never heard those before. Thanks for the laugh.

Posted by Nancy Larson (American Dream Referrals) over 3 years ago

Cute and I got a kick out of them. Keep them coming.

Posted by Victor Montalvo Bilingual Realtor Sí, hablo español (Exit Realty Associates) over 3 years ago

Stefan - words are such fun! Thanks for the smiles. Glad to see your link back to your post on the Top 100 women in real estate.

Posted by Sharon Simms St Pete FL - CRS CIPS CLHMS RSPS (ALVA International, Inc.) over 3 years ago

Stefan, Thanks for the laughes.  These are all very punny.  I will have to use some myself.

Posted by Jimmy McCall "The Ex-Mortgage Consultant" (TheHappyCottage.com) over 3 years ago
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